Pietro Gets a BooBoo
by Red Witch
Summary: Okay, okay, I'll stick to comedy! Well, I've been reading all these great Pietro angst stories and well, it gave me another weird idea.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing but crazy ideas that make sense to no one but myself. I've been reading a rash of Pietro cutting himself stories. No offense, they're good, but I just can't believe that he'd do it. Let's face it, the kid has an ego the size of Australia. This is my attempt to set the record straight.**

**Pietro Gets A Boo-Boo**

"I can't believe that I'm doing this," Lance grumbled as he and Tabitha sat on the floor in the upstairs hallway.

"Do you want my advice on Kitty or not?" she asked.

"Yes," He grumbled. 

"Well then don't complain," She said smugly.

"This doesn't feel right," He muttered.

"It won't be so bad."

"Can we at least do this in your room or something and not in the hallway?" He asked.

"No! The last time you jerks got into my room you trashed it. Okay the glitter was a nice touch but still…"

"Well what about my room?"

"No. I think not. Now come on."

"You realize you're taking advantage of me!" Lance protested.

"And your point is?"

"Forget it," Lance sighed. "Let's just get this over with. I can't believe you want me to do…this with you."

"Hey if you don't want my help…"

"Fine!" Lance snapped. "I'll do it! Just don't expect…to much." With a sigh he picked up the Ken doll. "Hey Barbie! Wanna go for a ride?"

"Sure Ken I'd love too!" Tabitha said using her Barbie doll. "Let's go to the mall!"

"Yippee," Lance rolled his eyes. "Can I at least drive the car?" He pointed to a toy pink convertible.

"Of course not. It's Barbie's car!" Tabitha said. 

Suddenly a horrific scream shattered the house. "What was that?" Tabitha asked.

"If I'm lucky it's Death," Lance muttered under his breath. 

****

"AGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" Pietro ran out of his room screaming. "It hurts! Oh the pain! Call a doctor! Call an ambulance! Call my lawyer!"

"How about the funny farm?" Lance rolled his eyes. "What is it now?"

"I hurt myself! I hurt myself! Owie! Owie! Owie!" Pietro ran around frantically holding his wrist.

"Pietro calm down and let me see," Lance sighed. 

"Ow! Ow!" Pietro whimpered as Lance and Tabitha inspected his hand.

"What happened?" Lance looked at it. "I don't see anything."

"There it is," Tabitha pointed out. "You just got a little paper cut." 

"IT HURTS!" Pietro sobbed. The noise brought out Fred and Todd from their respective rooms.

"What's goin on?" Todd said. 

"Pietro the Hypochondriac has a paper cut," Lance informed them.

"Wuss," Fred chuckled.

"Oh thank you all so much for your sympathy!" Pietro snapped. 

"Oh calm down you big baby," Tabitha shook her head. "You can hardly see it. Besides, the blood's already dried off."

**"There's** **blood?!"** Pietro looked at his finger in horror. 

"Only a drop," she said. "No big deal."

"It's a pretty big deal to me!" Pietro shouted. 

"Man and you call me a crybaby!" Todd smirked. He looked at the floor. "What's all these dolls doin here on the floor yo?"

"Pietro you just got a little paper cut," Lance said in an attempt to change the conversation. "So what?"

"My life's blood is dripping from my finger and all you guys can say is 'So what'?" Pietro snapped. 

"Just put I band aid on it!" Lance sighed. "I'll get one." He went to the bathroom. 

"What if it leaves a scar?" Pietro whimpered. "What if this leaves an awful scar on my otherwise perfect body?" 

"Oh that would be a tragedy," Todd said sarcastically. 

"I'm serious!" Pietro said. "My body is a temple of perfection! A single blemish would be an act of desecration!" 

"Quickie I think you already crossed that line when you ate those six double chili burritos yesterday," Todd told him. 

"Pietro come here and wash it out," Lance snapped. 

"Nobody understands me," Pietro moped.

"Oh we understand you," Lance snapped as Pietro cleaned his cut. "Too well. That's the problem."

"No you don't!" Pietro made a face. "I know I act tough, but inside of me is a very vulnerable and scared little boy."

"Of course he's scared," Lance drawled. "He's living with a lunatic like the rest of us. We're all terrified of him." 

"I'm serious!" Pietro snapped. "I am really a very sensitive person. I just put on a show."

"You sure put on a heck of a show yesterday when you took a chainsaw to Duncan's car when he nearly rear-ended us," Todd remarked. "Very entertaining."

"Yeah I loved it when you imitated Jack Nicholson and Duncan got down on his knees crying," Fred said. 

"That was my favorite part too!" Todd said. 

"There now," Lance put a band aid on it. "Will that be all or would you like a wheelchair to wheel into your room so you can have a lie down?"

"Tabby! Kiss it and make it better!" Pietro wailed. 

"No way!" Tabitha shook her head. 

"Pleeeeesee?" Pietro blinked his eyes. 

"Oh so that's what this is all about!" Todd rolled his eyes. 

"Tabby!" Pietro pleaded.

"No!" She huffed. "Come on Rocky, I think we'll finish this in your room."

"Finish what in your room?" Pietro went pale. 

"Don't spaz out we're just playing Barbie and Ken," She started picking up the dolls. 

"But who's gonna kiss my wound and make it better?" Pietro called out after them. 

"Oh I'll kiss it for crying out loud!" Todd said.

"NO!" Pietro yanked his hand back. "If you do I'll probably end up getting gangrene!" 

"You will not!" Todd frowned. 

"Yes I will and my hand will get all green and fall off and I can't take being shunned and regarded as a freak!" Pietro cried. "I'm not like you Toad! I can't stand to be shunned!"

"Oh I am definitely kissing it now!" Todd said. 

"Get away from me!" Pietro recoiled as Todd puckered up. 

"Come on Pietro," Todd spoke in a syrupy voice. "Let Uncle Toadie kiss it and make it better!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Pietro ran away using his super speed. 

"Come back!" Todd hopped after him. "I only wanna help you!" 

"Hey!" Fred laughed as he ran after him. "I wanna make it better too!" 

"Lance help me!" Pietro shouted. "They're after me!" 

"Not now Pietro!" Lance shouted. "I'm trying to decide what Ken should wear to the prom!"


End file.
